tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28238816.post4006691320616797364..comments2024-02-24T11:28:02.310+00:00Comments on Poetry in Progress: draft poemMarion McCreadyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04657757253873577465noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28238816.post-85263769702213995672011-10-20T21:01:46.525+01:002011-10-20T21:01:46.525+01:00thanks dominic!thanks dominic!Marion McCreadyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04657757253873577465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28238816.post-29438648973449395932011-10-19T23:06:54.158+01:002011-10-19T23:06:54.158+01:00Another pockets of God lover here. An pleasant ech...Another pockets of God lover here. An pleasant echo of Plath's Daddy - a "bag full of God".Dominic Rivronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02618013365521035400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28238816.post-48736173803348850212011-10-17T23:47:33.044+01:002011-10-17T23:47:33.044+01:00thankyou james :) yes it's awkwardly construct...thankyou james :) yes it's awkwardly constructed, one for the back-burner I think!Marion McCreadyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04657757253873577465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28238816.post-6014882515095372011-10-17T21:21:21.967+01:002011-10-17T21:21:21.967+01:00I love "pockets of God" and "its sl...I love "pockets of God" and "its slow arc hooping along the road". I, too, don't know how the players are related, "you" and "she" and "he". I guess I would ask for clarification -- but then I hesitate -- I love the last stanza's feeling of coming to after having been lost, and any too explicit exposition may kill that.... This is not a very helpful comment, I'm afraid....James Owenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07614935078978354375noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28238816.post-77947154783497640252011-10-16T21:02:15.015+01:002011-10-16T21:02:15.015+01:00thanks, jim, I was hoping the brackets would be en...thanks, jim, I was hoping the brackets would be enough to separate that bit from the rest of the voice in italics, I'll think about how to clarify it!Marion McCreadyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04657757253873577465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28238816.post-31804488410698836162011-10-16T10:43:33.608+01:002011-10-16T10:43:33.608+01:00I get a little confused with this one. In the open...I get a little confused with this one. In the opening stanza we have a 'you' and an 'I' and then we jump to 'her' and I assume that it is she who becomes the 'I' in the two italicised stanzas but that can't be because that 'I' has a wife. So why is it in italics? Who's talking here, her husband?<br /><br>Jim Murdochhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12786388638146471193noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28238816.post-77763678821156375202011-10-16T00:46:46.641+01:002011-10-16T00:46:46.641+01:00thankyou both :) it's part of something much b...thankyou both :) it's part of something much bigger if I can get my head into gear to get writing it!Marion McCreadyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04657757253873577465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28238816.post-52737453547918750342011-10-15T19:44:28.209+01:002011-10-15T19:44:28.209+01:00this one is wonderfully cinematic, i see a mysteri...this one is wonderfully cinematic, i see a mysterious scene unfolding before my eyes, gothic moonlit tower, silhouettes in the window, a lost troubled face.Roxanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05650840495095863057noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28238816.post-50966196895743357012011-10-15T19:06:34.447+01:002011-10-15T19:06:34.447+01:00i agree about the catharsis. finding it difficult ...i agree about the catharsis. finding it difficult these days tho as night shift is leaving my brain feeling as if it's full of soup!<br /><br />liking this tho even if i'm not so fussed for sklif in the title but 'pockets of god' is great!swisshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17924594772578153947noreply@blogger.com