tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28238816.post4364348629841819032..comments2024-02-24T11:28:02.310+00:00Comments on Poetry in Progress: Marion McCreadyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04657757253873577465noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28238816.post-29981975400151049592010-07-24T01:16:50.275+01:002010-07-24T01:16:50.275+01:00hi jim, thanks for that, you've confirmed some...hi jim, thanks for that, you've confirmed some of my thoughts. I'm thinking of making the first line the title.Marion McCreadyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04657757253873577465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28238816.post-91525054553241030062010-07-23T15:51:09.329+01:002010-07-23T15:51:09.329+01:00Did you realise that the Scottish crossbill is the...Did you realise that the Scottish crossbill is the UK's only endemic bird species? No, me neither and I had to look up ‘endemic’ too. I’ve come back to this piece a couple of times but it’s not grabbing me. The first place I stumble is right at the start. I feel there should be a period at the end of the first line. I also find myself reading ‘sonogram’ too literally, a machine that looks inside you. Yes, your skin could record where breath had touched it but I’m not sure ‘sonogram’ is the right mechanism to use as a metaphor. Why not simply ‘trace’? Have you thought of a title?<br /><br>Jim Murdochhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12786388638146471193noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28238816.post-57487997006959505742010-07-22T15:53:49.994+01:002010-07-22T15:53:49.994+01:00thanks dianne! that's nice of you to say :)thanks dianne! that's nice of you to say :)Marion McCreadyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04657757253873577465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28238816.post-84496404864357272322010-07-21T20:42:27.298+01:002010-07-21T20:42:27.298+01:00oh, oh my. I so love this. The peaceful observac...oh, oh my. I so love this. The peaceful observace of each second. The images and senses and the weave of the words. Made my day.<br />DianneDiannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18323454057921441274noreply@blogger.com