Saturday, December 11, 2010

First draft -


Cutting Loose

(post removed)

11 comments:

Colm Delaney said...

'Shaking your head of branches, your fury of leaves.'

What a lovely line...really liked this poem.

Jim Murdoch said...

I find this a rather dark piece. The title suggests escape to me, cutting ties, but from what? A man who follows her like a scary dark tree? A man who wants to pray with her and then what? What happens to her that she needs to “unpuzzle” it from her memory? Perhaps this is me transferring what I’ve just been watching on the news about the Elizabeth Smart kidnapping.

roxana said...

this made me remember a german poet i like, Else Lasker-Schueler. beautiful and mysterious, i love the ambiguity of the dark air surrounding everything, dark yet glittering with silver snow.

Marion McCready said...

thankyou colm! I'm glad you like it!

thanks for your thoughts, jim, I didn't intend it to come across quite so sinister!

hi roxana! thankyou for mentioning Lasker-Schueler, I've since been reading lots of her poems on-line and really enjoying them! thankyou :)

Titus said...

Yes, it is the contrasts of the poem I really like - and that unexpected 'fury'.

swiss said...

all sorts of lovely for me. and i like angels in a poem!

Marion McCready said...

thankyou titus!

thanks swiss, I've always been wary of angels in poems! glad you like it :)

James Owens said...

I love all this silver flashing through the dark and the quiet mystery at the close and "unpuzzle you from my memory".

Not sure about "as if the sky is kissing me goodnight". I'm not saying that I don't like it :-) I just haven't decided yet, whether it gets too close to the sentimental, or just close enough to be brilliant....

I'm impressed with the ghost of rhyme that tracks throughout this poem, without becoming obtrusive. Good work!

Roxana said...

there are not so many english translations out there, but she is a great one, indeed, and there is something in her images which makes me think of you, sometimes. glad you enjoyed her!

Dick said...

It's a beauty, Marion. Enigmatic, yes, but shimmering with striking imagery that transcends the need for some literal interpretation.

Marion McCready said...

hi James, if it's a choice, I'll go for brilliant ;) lol. thankyou, I appreciate your thoughts.

thanks again Roxana, I would never have come across her if you hadn't mentioned her.

thankyou Dick :) I'm very glad you like it!