following but not blogging,Dianne
This flows well and I much prefer it to the most recent piece you just posted. That one loses me. This turns a landscape into a soundscape. I especially like the punch line at the end but then I'm a sucker for a good punch line. Very good.
sorry dianne you've lost me :)hi jim, glad you like it, thanks.
With Jim on the sounds of it. Liked it, but "plumes" just jarred me slightly - because they don't look like plumes to me. Or rather, what plumes are in my mind. But that's a personal thing.
I prefer the Alan Davie poem. To my mind this one is maybe a bit too literal as an interpretation and/or description of the painting.
thanks for that, titus! will have a rethink about plumes.hi colin, I know what you mean, I prefer the Davie one too :) it's hard when it's a redraft of an old poem to breathe life into it.
i can't remember the last version enough to compare. i like all of this except 'stacked in shocks of swathes' which is just too much.
lol, you didn't like that part of the earlier version either!
hey, you promised to leave the poems here a bit longer, only two days have passed and you already removed it! pleeease... :-)though i had time to read it, but now when i had come back to comment it's gone!
I know, sorry!! it's just the competition entry date closes on fri and I wanted to email them off tonight in case I didn't get the chance to tomorrow!
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