Friday, November 16, 2012

First draft -

(poem removed)


Jim Murdoch said...

I read some of Amichai's poetry. Didn't see one that reminded me of yours but I only read a dozen.

The first thing that will jump to most people's minds when they read of Golan Heights is the current conflict and it's certainly a place that has always made me think of war. I don't understand the 'dipping' but having never been there I have online online descriptions and they don't help.

I don't like 'Galilee boats     wood floats' not just because of the full rhyme but because on the next line you talk about them 'tearing through water' and that jars with the image of things bobbing gently on the water.

Interesting verb. I wouldn't have thought the Beatitudes as a thing to be conquered but then then who are the 'we' talking here? I have a tendency to assume the 'we' in your poems are a couple, male and female, and so I make assumptions which perhaps I ought not to.

I don't get the 'snake-lights of Tiberius'. I know he had a pet snake but that's about it an, of course, he was in power when Jesus was alive.

So, as usual, I have a handful of images that I can't fit together and make sense of.

Marion McCready said...

thanks Jim. as usual you've given me much to think about, I always appreciate your perspective.

Alan Stubbs said...

I like the images conjured and the openness of them.
With snake lights I thought - because of snake I suppose, of a River, like the Tiber, then of an Imperial power, a tyrant, coldf snake eyes, the simple twinkling of the coiled powerful shape ready to strike, etc...I think too miuch can be made of the 'historic' word without regard for the accumulated weight of the word since, and the freshness of a use in a strange context. I love the word beatitude in this poem, the way it makes the mouth shape it on the run to orange scrub. I think its excellent.


Marion McCready said...

thanks Alan! I appreciate that!