Trying to write some poems to enter into the Scotland National Galleries competition, here's one I wrote today based on a painting by Alan Davie - 'Woman bewitched by the moon'
I really like the phrase "jazzy thunder". The juxtaposition is unexpected and, well, jazzy. And the ending, "part-lunar, part-flesh" -- the same sort of juxtaposition, earthly and yet rising into the ethereal. Very fitting for the painting. Yes, definitely a vocabulary poem :-)
thanks swiss, yes it's good to try something different - doesn't always work out but sometimes you learn things that you can bring into your usual method, that's what I'm hoping for anyhow!
and this one is gone too, i loved it so much (i'd really like to have a copy of it, from now on i will save your poems in my folders :-) - especially the last two stanzas, but i liked the bare bloodied breast as well (if i remember correctly!). such powerful images... and what a nice coincidence, when i had also posted my asking-the-moon woman :-)
11 comments:
Is it just me or is that painting some kind of alien penis explosion?
Poem is good, I think - striking in a different way (though I think you may have used vocabularly).
x
ha ha :) husband agrees with you!
thanks, it was good to try a different method from my usual way of approaching a poem.
Good poem. It's as if Salvador Dali had written the Song of Songs.
Like monochrome moon - it draws the mind's attention to the moon. Got me googling. Found this.
lol, thanks bill. yes,the moon's not very monochrome at all :)
I really like the phrase "jazzy thunder". The juxtaposition is unexpected and, well, jazzy. And the ending, "part-lunar, part-flesh" -- the same sort of juxtaposition, earthly and yet rising into the ethereal. Very fitting for the painting. Yes, definitely a vocabulary poem :-)
thanks for this, james. I know it's a bit short, I may have time to add to it before the closing date (fri).
I was all ready to take this seriously until I read the first comment!
Last two stanzas are the one's that really do it for me.
yes, there's no beating about the bush with our rachel!! lol
thanks for that, I'm glad you like them.
thanks swiss, yes it's good to try something different - doesn't always work out but sometimes you learn things that you can bring into your usual method, that's what I'm hoping for anyhow!
and this one is gone too, i loved it so much (i'd really like to have a copy of it, from now on i will save your poems in my folders :-) - especially the last two stanzas, but i liked the bare bloodied breast as well (if i remember correctly!). such powerful images... and what a nice coincidence, when i had also posted my asking-the-moon woman :-)
thankyou, yes I thought that too! will email it to you just now if I can find your email address
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