Thursday, October 13, 2011

draft poem

I'm not sure why writing poetry should be such a cathartic experience but sometimes just the effort of having cobbled some words together on-screen can be an amazing pick-me-up!

What a happy coincidence: to be reading Tomas Transtromer the week it is announced that he has won the Nobel Prize for Literature. If you didn't know much about him before there's now no shortage of articles on him and his poetry popping up all over the place.

First draft

Like the Sklif of a Daylight Moon

(poem removed)

9 comments:

swiss said...

i agree about the catharsis. finding it difficult these days tho as night shift is leaving my brain feeling as if it's full of soup!

liking this tho even if i'm not so fussed for sklif in the title but 'pockets of god' is great!

Roxana said...

this one is wonderfully cinematic, i see a mysterious scene unfolding before my eyes, gothic moonlit tower, silhouettes in the window, a lost troubled face.

Marion McCready said...

thankyou both :) it's part of something much bigger if I can get my head into gear to get writing it!

Jim Murdoch said...

I get a little confused with this one. In the opening stanza we have a 'you' and an 'I' and then we jump to 'her' and I assume that it is she who becomes the 'I' in the two italicised stanzas but that can't be because that 'I' has a wife. So why is it in italics? Who's talking here, her husband?

Marion McCready said...

thanks, jim, I was hoping the brackets would be enough to separate that bit from the rest of the voice in italics, I'll think about how to clarify it!

James Owens said...

I love "pockets of God" and "its slow arc hooping along the road". I, too, don't know how the players are related, "you" and "she" and "he". I guess I would ask for clarification -- but then I hesitate -- I love the last stanza's feeling of coming to after having been lost, and any too explicit exposition may kill that.... This is not a very helpful comment, I'm afraid....

Marion McCready said...

thankyou james :) yes it's awkwardly constructed, one for the back-burner I think!

Dominic Rivron said...

Another pockets of God lover here. An pleasant echo of Plath's Daddy - a "bag full of God".

Marion McCready said...

thanks dominic!