Friday, April 27, 2012

first draft

Poem removed

9 comments:

Clarissa Aykroyd said...

What a beautiful poem! Somewhat reminiscent of Sylvia Plath.

Marion McCready said...

thankyou :) hmm maybe a little too Plathian

Jim Murdoch said...

Okay is it Argos the shop or Argos in Greece? Tulips (red ones especially) are common in that area it seems but I couldn't find anything in the history/mythology that made “women of Argos” any clearer. Not sure about the imagery here. We have hearts in the first stanza, necks and heads in the second and cups in the third. Yes, the grail is a cup but who balances a cup on their head? You make it sound like a crown. I like the shape of the piece but the influence of Plath is obvious even to me who’s only read the popular stuff. All that aside I like the soundscape and the layout.

Marion McCready said...

oh jim, you crack me up :))women of Argos make up the chorus in Sophocles' Electra. I nearly turned them into Caryatids to go with the idea of the women permenantly holding things on their heads but I thought the Greek women connection would be enough to link to that idea. thanks for your thoughts!

Rachel Fox said...

Bet you'll never be able to read it aloud now. All you'll think about is catalogues...

Marion McCready said...

yes, those parading women of Argos lOl ;)

Rachel Fox said...

Always makes me think of Bill Bailey... "the laminated book of dreams".

Edinburgh Flats said...

a big thumbs up

Marion McCready said...

so true, rachel! I've been doing a fair bit of shopping out of it for the new house, it's too easy to buy online!!