I like the idea of this one. It’s hard to read I find. I want it to have a more regular rhythm. I stumble each time I get to the single line. The whole thing has the feel of a nursery rhyme. Try turning it into one if only as an exercise; you might be surprised by the result. The title, although fun, feels too long. I make no pretence of getting it I’m afraid.
2 comments:
I like the idea of this one. It’s hard to read I find. I want it to have a more regular rhythm. I stumble each time I get to the single line. The whole thing has the feel of a nursery rhyme. Try turning it into one if only as an exercise; you might be surprised by the result. The title, although fun, feels too long. I make no pretence of getting it I’m afraid.
okay, good points, thanks!
Post a Comment