Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Under Beech Trees

James Sheard mentions in his blog his two-line problem of whether the following lines that he came up with sound like the opening, close or otherwise of a poem -

When next you pass through beeches, think:
These are old lovers; this how I left them.

So swiss suggested using Sheard's lines to come up with our own poems. Though I feel that the lines definitely constitute a poem's ending I found it really hard getting into the 'voice' of Sheard's lines so I decided to use them as an epigraph to my poem instead (hope you don't think this is cheating, swiss!).


swiss said...

lovely, lovely, lovely.
loving the loch eck bit,the glen in moonlight and especially the last three lines, nice rhythm, nice finish.

as for me. first off apologies as i had to do thsis in a hurry this afternoon as i'm waaay behind on my uni stuff and it hasn't left me time otherwise i think this would be diferent. it's put me onto different thinking path which i'll share with you when it's done but inthe meantime here's what i cam up with (call it a working version! lol)

swiss said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sorlil said...

thankyou, I'm glad you like it.

I very much like your 'working version' esp eyes oven-lit and the seal them in stone and soak them in gin. Interesting take on the lines, I'm looking forward to seeing what else you have in mind!

Dick said...

Such a strong sense of time & place here, sorlil.

Sorlil said...

Thanks for reading, dick!