Monday, February 25, 2008

Inveraray in February

The town is drowning under peals of bells,
(post removed)


Anonymous said...

I loved this poem! Especially the part when you said the town was afloat with music. It described the town so well almost like in a cheery kind of way. I would love if you gave me permission to post this poem on my poetry website I just started. Peace

Dick said...

There's a fine sense of place & circumstances in this villanelle-styled poem. The pentameter serves it well too, the rhythm carrying the lines effortlessly. I particularly liked the merger of two previously separate images, the Gaelic saints & the flaunted kilts.

The only slight reservation is shopkeepers leaning ON doorsteps, which produced a challenging physical image! Leaning in doorways, maybe..?

swiss said...

this is nice. and gets better with reading. you've got that repetition and variation thing going -just like bells.

the rain is a kind of drowning....
is i think maybe my favourite line that you've written. not least because i was drowning in it at the weekend! lol

Sorlil said...

thanks teenypoet I'm glad you like it, I'm sorry but I'd rather you didn't post it on your website but thanks for commenting anyway.

thanks dick! I've changed to 'lean in doorways', I had a feeling something wasn't quite right!

thanks swiss, it came from reading MacCaig, I was trying something he used in one of his poems and ended up doing something else entirely!