oh, oh my. I so love this. The peaceful observace of each second. The images and senses and the weave of the words. Made my day.Dianne
thanks dianne! that's nice of you to say :)
Did you realise that the Scottish crossbill is the UK's only endemic bird species? No, me neither and I had to look up ‘endemic’ too. I’ve come back to this piece a couple of times but it’s not grabbing me. The first place I stumble is right at the start. I feel there should be a period at the end of the first line. I also find myself reading ‘sonogram’ too literally, a machine that looks inside you. Yes, your skin could record where breath had touched it but I’m not sure ‘sonogram’ is the right mechanism to use as a metaphor. Why not simply ‘trace’? Have you thought of a title?
hi jim, thanks for that, you've confirmed some of my thoughts. I'm thinking of making the first line the title.
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