Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Phew...this was tough, had a really busy day today. However I've made it to day two of NaPoWriMo!

Becoming a Rhododendron

The buds are fattening
on the blossom trees.

(post removed)


anhaga said...

I like this. It creates the sort of expectancy one feels at the start of spring, just as trees begin to blossom. The form contributes well to that.

I wonder if the opening lines could be tightened a bit, thus (forgive the impertience; I don't mean to re-write your poem):

Buds fatten
on blossom trees.

Dead stumps sprout
branches, leaves,

like arms or legs
growing suddenly....

Sorlil said...

thankyou, I take all the help I can get!