You should call this 'Rock Pools' because you continually use the plural until this line "the stars in its silver grip" and the "its" doesn't feel right in the middle of it all. I'd change it to "their".
It's quite good, perhaps a little predictable in parts but it ends well.
Enjoyed this. It reminded me a little of George Mackay Brown. Was looking into some Welsh rock pools only the other day (have just returned from 2 weeks there).
One could write several short poems (shorter than this one) under the collective title Rock Pools... (kind of X ways of looking at a rock pool?)
8 comments:
You should call this 'Rock Pools' because you continually use the plural until this line "the stars in its silver grip" and the "its" doesn't feel right in the middle of it all. I'd change it to "their".
It's quite good, perhaps a little predictable in parts but it ends well.
again a very good ending. and i agree with jim about the title.
'Crab souls' - that's great!
x
hi jim, thanks for that, I agree with you.
thanks roxana, yes I think you are both right.
thanks rachel, I'm very glad you like it!
i too am enamoured with crab souls
thankyou, I'm glad you like it!
Enjoyed this. It reminded me a little of George Mackay Brown. Was looking into some Welsh rock pools only the other day (have just returned from 2 weeks there).
One could write several short poems (shorter than this one) under the collective title Rock Pools... (kind of X ways of looking at a rock pool?)
thanks dominic, I'm glad you like it. Funnily enough I've just been reading GMB, and loving what I'm reading!
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