Monday, April 06, 2009

NaPoWriMo 6

Rock Pool

Rock pools are mirrors,
sun reflectors,

(post removed)


Jim Murdoch said...

You should call this 'Rock Pools' because you continually use the plural until this line "the stars in its silver grip" and the "its" doesn't feel right in the middle of it all. I'd change it to "their".

It's quite good, perhaps a little predictable in parts but it ends well.

Roxana said...

again a very good ending. and i agree with jim about the title.

Rachel Fox said...

'Crab souls' - that's great!

Sorlil said...

hi jim, thanks for that, I agree with you.

thanks roxana, yes I think you are both right.

thanks rachel, I'm very glad you like it!

swiss said...

i too am enamoured with crab souls

Sorlil said...

thankyou, I'm glad you like it!

Dominic Rivron said...

Enjoyed this. It reminded me a little of George Mackay Brown. Was looking into some Welsh rock pools only the other day (have just returned from 2 weeks there).

One could write several short poems (shorter than this one) under the collective title Rock Pools... (kind of X ways of looking at a rock pool?)

Sorlil said...

thanks dominic, I'm glad you like it. Funnily enough I've just been reading GMB, and loving what I'm reading!